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All about relationships

I posted this thought for the day on Facebook:-

Thought for the Day - If you help your partner to feel gorgeous you will be rewarded when your partner lets you feel gorgeous.

And got this comment:-

True. But if my partner is very unattractive (say like me) I would either have to lie, or win a place for her on Style by Jury (see e-tv on Fridays, 19:30), or spend the $100,000 they allegedly spend on making some really very unattractive women gorgeous, stylish & sexy by fixing their crooked or missing teeth, performing face lifts, and eye laser surgery to get rid of their thick spectacles, replacing their outdated or outrageous wardrobe, changing their hair colour & style, doing couple of hours of coaching of self-esteem, graceful walking & talking, and table-manners... with some truly 'miraculous' results after just one week.

To which I replied:-

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder not in the mind of the media.

To believe, and act, as if your partner is gorgeous is a choice, and it's a choice you have to make every day.

Remember that “gorgeous” is more about attitude than it is about physical shape.

Sadly the perception is created by the media that a certain shape and/or age is sexy.

What rubbish. No-one stays a certain shape or age but everyone can stay gorgeous.

I have met some really "beautiful", in terms of physiology, women who were actually very ugly in terms of psychology. A pretty face cannot make up for an ugly attitude.

As for lying to your partner, in this instance I recommend it highly. The beauty of this lie is that, as you know "a lie believed masquerades as the truth", therefore if you lie with feeling and conviction you will soon find that you won't be lying anymore but will be telling your truth.

Anyway, from long experience I can tell that that once up close looks no longer count, it's all about feel.

In a similar vein I posted this comment:-

Thought for Day - A recent article differentiated between marriage & romantic relationships, there's the problem, marriage ought to be a romantic relationship.

Which elicited this comment:-

On point Johann!!! As always. I think the greatest tragedy in marriage is that we don’t make our spouses our friends. How tragic to live for years with a person who is not your friend! The reason for the bliss in courtship is friendship and it must continue after marriage.

To which I replied:-

This happens because most people stop courting their spouses as soon as they have "caught" them.

The best part of marriage is that you evolve from friends to lovers.

But listen to how we talk. When we see two people in a romantic relationship we say "That'll end in marriage" instead of "That'll blossom into marriage"

With the right attitude you can stay in "luvst" all your life together.

May you stay friends with your lover and keep on loving your friend.

Which elicited these comments:-

>> I would like to add that most people believe that marriage/relationships are based on love and that love is an emotion. Lust is the emotion. Love is the commitment. Lust is feeling butterflies. Love is when you stay with some one when you know everything about them.

Johan has the best recipe - Luvst :)

>> And that word COMMITMENT is everything. Seldom will you cheat on your partner if you're committed. Commitment holds a marriage together through the rough times. It is the main foundation on which a marriage should be built.

To which I replied:-

Having a splendidly "luvsting" relationship depends on the decisions you make every day.

My advice to renew your commitment every day and go into every day with the intent of seeing how good a lover you can be today.

Love is something that has to be made everyday.

Love is something that has to be shown everyday.

Love is something that has to be shared everyday.

Everyday remind yourself of how lucky you are that your partner chose you as a lover and then show him/her how much you appreciate it.

Rather than make a commitment to your partner, make a commitment to yourself that you will be a great partner to your partner.

What can you do for your lover today that he/she likes that will let them know that you love them?

Have a Happy Luvsting Day.

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