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When you are in a relationship you don’t have to go blind you just have to be faithful.

One of the things that I have noticed is that some people have an unrealistic expectation of their partners. They expect them to go blind as soon as they are in a relationship.

I have witnessed, and I am sure you have too, some rather dramatic scenes that are caused by one partner catching, or suspecting, the other partner of "looking".

I do not think that it is wrong to look. I certainly enjoy the pleasure of looking at beautiful women and always say that the day I get too old to appreciate a good looking woman someone must shoot me, because I’ll be too old to do it myself.

If you expect your partner to ignore other men or other women, how long do you think it will be before they ignore you?

If you expect your partner to stop appreciating other men or women, how long do you think it will be before they stop appreciating you?

If you are scared that your partner might find someone else more attractive ask yourself what can you do to become more attractive to your partner?

If you suspect that your partner might stray, ask yourself what would your partner be looking for in a new relationship that he or she is not finding in this relationship?

But realise this. You will look. They will look. The risk lies not in the looking but in the feeling guilty for looking. We don’t like to feel guilty so we transpose our guilt into anger at our partner. "It’s your fault that I feel like this. If it wasn’t for you I could look all I like" This anger leads to many other problems as we try to justify our anger.

You can stay passionately in love all your life. I've been on honeymoon since the  9th of December 1978 so I have some experience in this matter.

Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship. Let your partner look but you make sure that you do your bit to keep them faithful. You look but make sure that you let your partner know how much you appreciate them so that they don’t feel threatened by your looking.

When you are in a relationship, you don’t have to go blind, you just have to be faithful.

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