Living Your Best Life 

with

Instant Inspiration and Timeless Wisdom

Click   here   to subscribe to Living Your Best Life

"Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind."

Dr. Seuss

I find that this saying is bandied around a lot and I get the feeling that not a lot of thought went into the quote and those who quote it don't think too hard about what it means and what the consequences might be of following it's advice.

To say that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind is totally antisocial and takes no cognisance of the feelings of others nor the realities of life.

This is a socially unacceptable statement. It is extremely bad advice and should carry a warning that this behaviour is bad for your relationships and could be bad for your health (some people settle disputes violently). So use with extreme caution.

If everyone applied this principle there would be a lot of very unhappy and probably very cross, people. It would be much like going to a dance where everyone just did their own thing irrespective of the music. It would be chaos. Everybody would be stepping on everybody else's toes and nobody would be able to enjoy themselves.

It's much in line with the oft' heard cry. I want to be free. Just remember that something that is free cannot be controlled and something that cannot be controlled has no practical value as it's potential cannot be applied and directed. This might be OK in nature (and even nature is ordered) but not in our society where we need to rely on each other and be reliable.

But I wonder if we would accept this attitude from our children or from our spouse/partner or from others?

I doubt it. So why should we expect them to accept it from us?

But let's think about this practically.

You reprimand your child for a misdemeanour and your child retorts "Well that's too bad for you. This is who I am. Get used to it. I don't like what you are saying and I won't put up with it. So there!" using the above quote you, being the child's parent certainly do matter so I am sure you won't mind. Will you?

You get pulled over for going to fast and the policeman minds that you were, but you say "Oh well that's just me. I like to go fast. And anyway since you mind it means that you do not matter, so what do I care that you mind." Hmmnnn.... I wonder where that would get you?

Your spouse/partner complains about something you said and/or did while you were being "who you are" and "saying what you feel".

Your employer/supervisor takes you to task over some task incomplete or "illcomplete"

I am sure that by now you've got the message.

He/she minds. Does that mean that they don't matter? Or do they matter so little to you that you don't mind what you say and do?

Now of course you can be who you want to be and you can say what you feel. It is your choice, but then you must be prepared to deal with the consequences because while you are free to choose you are never free from the consequences of your choices.

But if you are wise and you like getting along with others, then you will realise that:-

> the opinions of those who matter to you should matter to you, otherwise you might find that their opinion is that you no longer matter to them and that might matter very much to you; and

> those who mind might matter a lot and those who matter might mind a lot and it should matter to you that you mind what you say and what you do.

Emotionally intelligent people know who they should be.

Emotionally mature people choose to be who they should be and make sure that their behaviour suits the role and the situation.

Emotionally intelligent people know when to speak but more importantly what to say when they do.

Emotionally mature people know when not to speak because they know that some things are best left unsaid.

So unless who you are is who you should be and what you say really needs to be said or you really don't care about anyone else but yourself, I would advise you to not apply the dubious "wisdom" of that saying.

My advice is that you contemplate the meaning of this saying. I think that you will find that it is not wise at all and if you follow the "advice" you'll be setting yourself up for a fall.

And finally think about this

> Who are you when you are being yourself?

> Is who you are being who you should be being?

> Is it fair to those on the receiving end of your being who you are and saying what you feel?

{--------------------------------}

Affirmation

I evaluate all information for it's relevance and value.

I do not blindly accept that a saying is wise simply because of who said it or who told it to me.

I will test the information for myself and make up my own mind as to it's wisdom.

I realise that even smart people say dumb things.

Send me feedback here =>> Feedback <<=

To live your best life be true to the YOU, that you want to be.

Live with passion. Change your life from making a living to making a difference.

Live up to the reputation that you want to have.