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What we call lies are often just the other persons version of the truth.

A lot of conflict, unhappiness and broken relationships is caused by the feeling/belief that someone is lying, or has lied to us.

Often what we call lies are just truths in clash. This happens when someone has a different truth to ours. In any given situation we will see things from our point of view. The problem is that we then become possessive and defensive over our point of view and often arrogantly declare it to be THE truth. Well here is THE truth. There is MY truth, there is YOUR truth, there is THEIR truth and then there is THE truth.

In order to avoid conflict and the embarrassment, or worse, caused by calling someone a liar have the Emotional Maturity to realise that you have a truth and that they have a truth and that your responsibility is to understand their truth and not necessarily to get them to accept your truth. So in this potential conflict situation a great question is "What makes you say that?" You must uncover the evidence that they are using to formulate their opinion and the reasoning behind their behaviour. Only when you know that can you have a constructive discussion rather than a destructive argument.

The only time when someone is lying is when they deliberately attempt to manipulate the evidence in order to change, disguise or deny the facts in an attempt to mislead you.

Just remember this. Immature people defend their opinion in spite of new information while Mature people amend their opinion in the light of new information.

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