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Each person in a relationship should strive

to ensure that the other person in the relationship

looks forward to being with them and is reluctant to let them go.

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives yet it seems as if we pay very little attention to ensuring that our relationships are long lasting and satisfying.

We start feeling as if we are trapped in the relationship. And all too often we tend to look for excuses not to spend time with those with whom we are in a relationship.

Why do we allow this to happen. Yes that is right, allow it to happen. I am sure that when you first started the relationship you could not wait to be with the other person. Everything that they did was wonderful and you felt good just being with them.

Relationships fail for a few reasons;

1.  Wrong reasons for the relationship to start with. There are many relationships that should not have started in the first place, and should certainly not been allowed to develop a sense of permanency. These relationships are normally based purely on the physical characteristics and abilities, or the material possessions, of the people involved. There is very seldom an emotional bond between them. Now while these relationships may be very exciting to start with they soon begin to bore you and you start looking around for the next "victim"

2.  Focusing on faults. Every person has habits that are different to yours and what tends to happen in a relationship is that one person tries to dominate and change the other person so that they fit into a preconceived image. When they won't change or resist this manipulation we tend to get angry. Very often, the very thing that now irritates us is what attracted us to them in the first place.

To make a relationship work takes effort. That's right good relationships do not happen by themselves. You must make a conscious effort to nurture your relationships. Keep focusing on, and telling the other person, what you like about them. Treat them as if they were the person you would like them to be and more importantly treat them as the person that they would like to be.

In any relationship there are bound to be disagreements, an important thing to remember is that it doesn't mean that they don't love you because they disagree with you it merely means that they think differently about the situation. In any relationship it is important that we drop our need to be "right" and focus on our need to love and be loved.

Whatever it is that you want from your relationship learn to give it. If you want more love then be more loving and loveable. If you want more respect then give more respect and be respectable. Evaluate your contribution to the relationship keeping in mind that "Each person in a relationship should strive to ensure that the other person in the relationship looks forward to being with them and is reluctant to let them go."

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