The best thing that you can do for your friend is just be her friend. It is not for us to judge others for their actions unless we can be 100% sure that if we were in the same position as they were we would have taken different actions.

I am really glad that I have never been in the position to have to make that harsh a decision, but I do know this, I have made some very stupid decisions in my life, decisions that I later regretted, but what is done is done. What I did learn though was that I had some very caring friends and they helped me through the difficulties.

By the sounds of things your friend is judging herself quite harshly and will have to live with the consequences of her actions for the rest of her life. I am not suggesting that you condone or even act as if you condone her actions. I would like to advise you however not to condemn her either. Show her that there is a better way to live by being an example to her.

Remember that the quality of our lives is not determined by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us. The great gift of being human is that while you cannot always choose or control what happens to you, you can always choose to control how you respond.